Hmm...so...she's not schizo? I mean, based on her thoughts, and her sense, she doesn't seem to be...she's still pretty much in tune with reality, too...well, there has been a documented case about a guy who had control of himself even though he's schizo (forgot the name o.o;). I guess it's just the doctors' diagnosis? Or the fact that the voice comes and goes? Well, I don't really know ^^; Hehe...interesting, all the same.

Rock on! :)

What a great way to begin! You've got great narration skills :)

Rock on! :)

I love the tone of this. And the style too. It flows very well.

I can now start this and not get behind yay! I'm so gonna read every single chappy this time.

Way different beginning, hasn't the confusing "huh" that the original had.

I was up to about chapter six in the previous version of this. Now I get to start all over again. ^^; I like this story though, so I don't mind.

I didn't think the part with the psychological disorders was too long. However, from what I've read about schizophrenia (which isn't all too much, but enough considering I only needed a bit for a story I wrote concerning it), it isn't and has pretty much nothing to do with multiple personalities. I believe in the one sentence you mentioned how she didn't have the kind that was with multiple personas; but there is no kind of schizophrena with multiple personas from what I've read. Multiple personality disorder (commonly called schizophrenia for some reason that I don't know) is actually something called Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.). I'm no expert on either schizophrenia or DID, so maybe I am mistaken somewhere... Perhaps just look into it.

-The voice would scream its protest, demanding Jennifer be a good little girl and let the voice have control, Jennifer would chuckle at it, and continue her day. -- This sentence is awkward. I think at the beginning it either needs a "when" or put "but Jennifer" after saying the voice is demanding for control. Or, you could even use a semi-colon instead of a comma between control and Jennifer.

-She despised it, she wished they could live in the countryside where she had grown up in.
-- Again, I find this awkward. My suggestion is remove the "in" at the end of the sentence and it'll be fine.

Some of the paragraphs seem a little bulky and perhaps can be separated into smaller paragraphs. I'm not saying it needs to be done, but like I said, some seem a little bulky.

As well, to me it feels as though there is an excess of lengthy sentences. I suggest varying longer sentences and shorter ones more. With really long ones, it sometimes gets to be a little too much and can become awkward to read, even though it sounds perfectly fine in your head when you write it.

Otherwise, all looks pretty well. I look forward to reading future chapters.

well, i enjoyed reading this. :)
i love the descriptions.

This chapter was great. Very funny and worth waiting for. I'd send the murderous glare... but I can't talk.. it's been a while since I posted a chapter too.

Too short! *cries*

Post more quickly. I must know what happens next. *nod nod nod*

And this WOULD make an awsome manga.

Love the wit in this one. You had me laughing a lot. I'm on the edge of my seat to see what happens next.

Sorry for the long wait, btw.

No! Trev has yet to reappear! Please update soon... perhaps with Trev? Say he's not dead! Please @_@ Very good story btw and cliffhangs like before

Hmm... mystery and drama... can't wait to see what happens next!

Adorable chapter!

Too bad about your tests and such, hope everything goes well.

(Sorry this took so long.)

EW AP TESTS! XD sorry i haven't reviewed for a long time. aww kawaii Tenna...

-YuLian

Aw... sweet chapter. Nice bit of character development there.

Durham eh? You from the UK...?

Oh, I love it love it love it! :D Can't wait to see more!