Beautiful. Sad. Brilliant. I love it.

This is pretty cool. I like the story, and I can really relate to your little description of jealousy! The characters are pretty cool, too.

Can I offer you some constructive criticism? First, I'll say that the HTML, with all the underlines and italics, was a little confusing. Italics and underlining can be used to great effect, to put emphasis on something important and things like that, but this seemed a little vague and unorganized.

Another thing was that when Lith describes herself a bit, you did a good job doing it in little pieces. But I think one bit of information you could keep in mind is that when a character describes themself, they should describe their features the way they feel about them. Does that make sense? Like, say, a character is really shy and modest. They shouldn't describe their hair as "golden blond, like the glorious glow of the sun at dawn." However, this description might be able to pass if the character using it were a selfish, narcissistic supermodel.

But I liked the storyline and everything. Most of it was really cool.

You're right, this is an excellent story. It really touched me; I especially loved the "Like a Dream" part. That pretty much summed up my love for this piece. Well done.

Hey, Ella...............you're breaking.~Vindicated

(I am, too.)

First off, thank you for the review. And now about the story, it ROCKS! It's so sad! But I love it! I'm updating as we speak. I look forward to reading more of your stories! :)

Love it to death! This is brilliant.

I guess you're not finishing this story. =( Oh well.

I liked it, I thought it was pretty sad. haha.

This story is absolutely incredible! It's short, and rather sad, but still conveys so much beauty and depth. It's a very powerful piece - I love it!

omg ella i wish i could write like that its really beautiful and well written and sad i love the way you work with words bending them however you want to. i dont know if you should keep working with this story except for a little revising, because to make it longer might kill it.

I like it. Continue it, that you should. It is really good. I wanna know the rest of the storyy.

My friend told me to write a prequel to mine. >.> I'm debating..

i hope you write more too! pls do write more. very good start ;)

ba doom CH! omgh lelel. speechless. beautiful story. my FAVORITE out of all of yours. i think thats really all i need to say. BEAUTIFUL!

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgi loved it! it's been one of the best stories that i've ever read! and you know that i have read a whole lot of stories.fantasticalness!

"We were Adam and Eve, Cleopatra and Anthony, Lancelot and Guinevere, Arthur and Guinevere." Wow. This is amazingly cool. Smoke is a PERFECT name. And I loved his explanation: “Because he’s not me.” I really, really love this. It's so heartbreakingly beautiful. And sad. But mostly beautiful. I REALLY think you should write more. The ending was perfect. I love the way it's kind of disjointed and not in cronological order- just memories strung together. It makes it so much better. PLEASE write more- I really love this. Awesome work, keep it up! :D