Reviews for Rose - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Rose - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

N.E. Olson 2008-07-24 ch 6,	abuseIt's been awhile since I was on the site, but I remembered your story. I like the dialogue between Rose and Angela. It gives a very clear impression of their relationship and reminds me a lot of my roommate and me. Sad that Grand died, but it furthers the plot. My favorite line: "Grant gave her the withering look which onl lawyers and overzaelous English teachers can manage..." As an aspiring English teacher it made me laugh and I will definitely have to work on my withering glares lol. Good job with this chapter. :)
Zeka Storm 2008-01-23 ch 1,	abuseWow. That's great! I wish I could write like that. It pulled me right into the story and I could feel the pain of lost. The writing was perfect. Just amazing. Great job!
N.E. Olson 2007-09-20 ch 5,	abuseWow. I like the imagery of the storm and the shattered mirror. And the last sentence is especially poignant. Again, things seem to be moving a little too fast. But I like the story, and i can't wait to find out why the mirrors shattered.
N.E. Olson 2007-09-20 ch 4,	abuseAgain, very well written! The one thing I would like to make a comment about is the time frame. You jump ahead by days and weeks and it seems as if the story is hurtling forward; it's not very relaxed feeling. Maybe take some time to describe their lives with Grand a little more. She seems like a vey kooky lady, and there's potential there for a funny anecdote or two that could connect the reader more to the characters and make it seem as if the story is not rushing.
N.E. Olson 2007-09-20 ch 3,	abuseAnother intriguing chapter. Not much I can say to critique. I liked the dream at the end. That was very cool and unique.
N.E. Olson 2007-09-20 ch 2,	abuseVery good, this moves the story right along and I am very curious about the "loopy" old woman. In the first paragraph: "She wished it would away some of the heaviness..." While this is technically correct, it is a much older style of english than you have been using previously, so it doesn't fit in and sounds a bit overdramatic. I would change it to be something more modern sounding. Even just saying "She wished it would take away some of the heaviness...", though less elegent, makes it sound more like the rest of the story. "...she held her bag tightly to her and stuck close..." I would either take out "her", or add something like "side". As it is it makes no sense. "Chores!, thought Rose indignantly." The comma isn't needed. Anyway, this is very good! : )
N.E. Olson 2007-09-06 ch 1, anon.	abuseOh my gosh, that's so sad. Your writing really brings out the dread of the characters; I had butterflies in my stomach from reading it.
La. 2006-04-22 ch 9, anon.	abuseI can't wait to see what happens with Rose and Will. And What about Luke? It feels like there will be some very exciting events coming up that will be very interesting. I hope you decide to finish your story and update. This is one of the few stories I still read, and I've been reading it since you first posted it. Anyway, I hope you return and post more. (Please don't fall off the face of the earth like other writers with good stories have.) Bye.
N/A 2005-12-09 ch 10, anon.	abuseI hope you finish your story Rose. I really enjoy it, and have been keeping up on it since you started. It's a good story, and one I'd love to see completed.
LilLaTLuv 2005-09-03 ch 10,	abuseHey! Well, I can't wait to find out what "that day" was! And how she'll react to Luke being there! And if Luke has any magic! And how Will will react to Luke and her's first reunion! UPDATE SOON! PLEASE? Luv ya,Tashi :)
clair-a-net 2005-07-23 ch 10,	abuseplaning is good. as long as you dont give up the story its fine by me. i really like so keep it up.
SweetAshley1500 2005-07-21 ch 9,	abusethis was a very good and satisfying chapter! oh boy, i can't wait for the next one. Hey...is luke dead? that would be terrible, because the other guy's are dead. I hope not!
clair-a-net 2005-07-21 ch 9,	abusewhat happend to will? Why is he being so withdrawn? What happend the day they got seperated? I hope will opens upp more to rose in this story i so want them to be a together. your writting flows very well. it seems natural to me and nothing jumps out at me that is misspled. of course im not very good in that area so you may want to get another opinon.
SweetAshley1500 2005-07-20 ch 8,	abuseoh my gosh! you cannot leave me hanging like this. This is insane! i must know what happens! (you are quite tallented to keep me in suspence like this.) I cannot wait please continue as soon as you can!
SweetAshley1500 2005-07-20 ch 7,	abuseahh! this is simply refreshing! i love it very much! i really can't wait to get on to the next chapter, so away i go. I just wanted to tell you (even though you already know) you r imagination is brillant!

Return to Top