I liked this. It was very whimsical and fantasy-like but still really real. And I loved the line "But fortune’s child is dying". Only critism I have is the ending- it was just kind of... there. Like, I expected there to be more and it kind of jolted me. I don't know, it just seemed like it needed a little more. You could even work with that line, like have it like this:

Maybe she should hold you hand

Maybe

she

should

die

That might bring it to a softer close. I don't know, it just seems like it needs something. But overall, good work, I really enjoyed it. Keep writing! ^.^