not bad. looks like a good start. i would like to point out a very small mistake though. 3d paragraph of the story, first sentence. you say "pulled into" twice.

Good grammar but the bit at the end seems strange to me. I mean if he even fought with them against a common foe wouldnt that count as helping them a second time?

well fairly fast start apparently. the blue mist was the bears soul? well intrigueing so far.

I wasn't impressed at first, but this got increasingly better as I read on. I think you've got a good thing here. Continue, please, I'm looking forwrd to it.

HEY! You said Cedric wasn't going to die! -sobs- so there is going to be a wedding of the dead... hmphDeckarts dead? YIPEE! -starts celebrating- i mean.. um... noo! -fake crying-Who is the socerer dude? At least Phae is gonna turn out to be a great soceress, lauren slapped her? DAMN THAT BASTARD!You, kno those gibberlings don't sound to hott... to much fur... and those claws... they sound soo STUPID!and they killed the ultra hott cedric! or at least tried!Preferences? no FUR! yuck... it all depends...Well, duh, even though dreadful sorrowful things happened it was an AWESOME chapter cuz your writing it soo totally AWESOME! Yes. i am a woman of many different words... pfft, so maybe not...You BETTER be typing up that next chappie! I wanna read more! Is Cedric Dead? -more sobs- is deckart dead? -cheering... i mean crying- WE WILL FIND OUT SOON, won't we fellow readers, and the ones who "don't have time" to review! Cya laterBye bye

So am i... Yourwelcome... I STILL think they should review, it doesn't take very long... well not all the time. Cookies r the best... just not the weird ones on the computer. Gosh, i really wanna see, i just don't kno when... Wedding of the Dead... well, i'm just saying if some of the charries die... -looks a gregory with evil glint in eye- Lauren and Phae, are u inquiring that they're gonna get married? Oh my goodness... um congrats Phae and... Lauren... Phae is immortal? I never thought of that. j/k i kno whatcha mean. ha ha, 68? wow, u type rly rly fast. Well, duh, i loved this chatper! it was awesome! Cedric is awesome! He's so tough, it makes him even hotter (was he hot before) Score for him, Gregory is a loser! Yippe! lmao i loved the [part were gregory admits he has such a thick skull! well, i'll be off cuz my hand hurts like hell! later

Wow! your already at the 28th chappie! amazing! it was beyond enjoyable to read! YES! Cedric's back in the story! -dances- o! Breanne is gonna find him! YAYY! (right?) lol. YEs, i suppose, Lauren is just so sweet, he just needs better words like u said. He and Phae seem to be getting...closer... will they get married? And where are her other suitors?!?!?!? lol. You better be listening (er... reading, then) cuz i'm writing (um... typing) these nice not so long (as i would like) reviews for you... Well, certainlly i've learn more about the charactors in this chapter. It puzzles me so very much why other people are to damn stubborn to review... they ARE EVIL! You deserve millions and billions and trillions and godzillions (is that a word?) of nice fat long good great reviews for your amazing story!Your a great writer, and you know it (right? cuz, it's true, you are a great writer) so don't let the lack of reviews get you done -glares at all the people that don't review- And YOU can have a cookie! I very tastey one to your liking. -hands you tastey cookie that is to yoiur likeing- I hope you like it! Well, my ramblings seem to be shorter these days, so sorry about that. I just run out of things to say- stop gasping I can't just beable to talk on and on and on and on and on forever! How could ANYONE do that? Well, mommy's calling my name, it is immensly annoying. SHall i just ignore her? Well, it doesn't matter what you say... cuz i will either way... Hmm... is there going to be a wedding of the dead? I really do want to see that new movie thing, Tim Burtons Corspe Bride... have you seen the movie.. and if you have is it good? Oh, at school we had to take this typing test... and it's on the internet and stuff. So like yesterday I went on the website and kept taking the test... and guess what I got? 60 words per minute! Ha ha! I can't wait to take the test at school! hee hee! lol... I wonder how'll i'll beable to improve it, ya know. oh the site's w.typingtest.com very creative domain name isn't it? Well, I gotta go soon, gotta check up on some other stories... that aren't as amazing as yours of course. Good Bye! Bye bye! lAter...

not bound? hmm... it was a good guess... ok maybe it wasn't! i getta see cedric in the next chappie?!?!?!?!?!?YAY! well, your story is beyond awesomeness there can be! you must kkeep writing or i will die a slow painful death! ...maybe not... but who knows? Lauren sounds really cute in a way, he sounds so devoted to phae... i say forget the creepy part of lauren and remember the sweet-gonna-be-with-you-forever part. well... it's ur story so take no notice in me... actually DO take notice in me... as in only replying to my ramblings... cuz i'm your devoted reveiwer, to be with you forever (j/k lol) well, thou shall go, your highness. buna bump bump bum... MCDONALDS! Bigger King is better... but mcdonald's gots the better theme song!

That's ok. Just as long as you updated! I laptop fixed to. it was broken for a long time. lol. i love this chappie. it's really good (like every other chapter) lauren is getting kinda weird. Is he bound to phae or something? cuz it certainlly sounds like it. I deeply wonder whom she will end up with. Gregory is being an idiot like usuall (glares at him) i wanna see cedric!1 he was kinda cute and he should end up with breanna or whoever you spell her namme. well i gotta go to bed (not like i will..) nite nite

Lovely chapter! It is fantastic! u gotta update soon! please! I'm so addicted. Great job phae! omg i could barely stop laughing! So lauren brought faukner back? well, i feel bad for faukner... stupid monster that monster gets a 3 for hottness... I just kno it! Roth is gonna die!! -crys- he had a good name. whatever... aw...kids r cool. dunno... plz update soon. -give u a cookie- it's homemade!

I loved this chapter! it's awesome. -frowns- so roth is going to die? He has a cool name -pouts- aw i want to see cedric soon, oh well. can't have everything in life, now can you? Ha ha, so they ARE going to have a kid? I wonder how the baby shower will be like. lots of people and pretty decorations... hee hee. Yes, stupid people gave me HOMEWORK! and it's over the weekend too! it's unfair. thank you. -munches on cookie- god am i famished. lol. this one IS a good chappie. ha ha poor phae, she's got another stalker. lauren is being more psycho, if that's even possible. why the hell hasn't anyone else reviewing? they r stupid! u have an awesome story that should be read! cuz it's so totally awesomelly cool! and it's intresting and it's not a piece of crap!

Yes, such a mytsery... well... lauren should see a sigh-sky-e-trice.. i don't have any idea how to spell the word...YES!! good. lol. i love this chappie it's AWESOME! hey, is roth gonna die? Cuz don't make him die! my last name is Roth! we could be related!1 well... maybe not but hey... is he gonna die? plz don't make roth die. he's got a cool name! And where was CEDRIC in this chapter?!?!?!?!?!?!? i didn't see him... and is they're gonna be a baby sometime later on? cuz... Faulkner and Lia... i didn't see much of them... and yeah. lol. ah g2g do evil yucky stupid retarded stupid evil HOMEWORK!@! -screams and runs around room, falls down- oww... my head hurts... this is like the 5th time this week... oh well. love ur story. cookie plz?

lol, i wonder if phae'll get him...Yeah. Of course, if he wasn't hott... he'd be in trouble... muahahahahaha! Yes the poptart was very yucky cuz it wasn't a poptart. but then i found a REAl poptart and it tasted very very good. i'm intrested in whats going to happen to cedric.. is he gonna be the "unknown" lord?? Deckarts dead? Oh well... he wasn't really doing anything but healing... Lauren's "Acted Up" before? Anger management... I LOVE ur chappie and ur amzinglly cool story! Keep updating or i might just DIE! And if i die... I can't review -sobs- what a horror that would be. can i have a cookie? ok... that was random... well, i'm gonna go now... bye bye

Phae wants to be a princess now? ha ha lol. Lauren is being more creepy than nessecary. More deaths?!?!?!? no! oh, lol. Yup, i might see that movie. they have so many previews... or trailers or whatever u call them. i g2g, my POPTART is waiting! -grin- keep updating! i love ur story!1 it's AWESOME

YAY! I love this chappie! it's GREAT! I want more! lol. It isn't Calim? I wonder who... and what's gonna happen to Cedric? He's not gonna die... right? Lauren is obsessed with Phae is what i think... but hey, a pretty girl can make any guy crazy. What they were up to? Now that you put it like that it makes me think that someones gonna have a baby... OF course i enjoyed the chappie. Who couldn't? Cedric has to LIVE! He's to cute and nice to die! and he has to get married... rly i don't think i want to attend a wedding of the dead... well... actually that sounds kinda cool... anyways... keep UPDATING! I NEED more! I think i'm addicted ro your story... oh dear, i'm not gonna stop any time soon. lol. Cya later