FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Rich 2007-06-25 ch 5,  | I honestly do like this story, and I belive with a little work could be an awesome story. I haven't read the whole thing yet, but I like the concept, and belive it just needs a lil fixing up. Also, I would like if you did finish the final part of this chapter. I can't give you any ideas of what to add or anything, at least not yet, not til i finish, but I would be happy to later. |
| firesword 2006-09-25 ch 9,  | NO! AND YOU WON'T WRITE MORE? I'M MAD NOW BUDDY. pretty good i guess. I just want you to finish. For me For a fan. |
| Halcyon Impulsion 2006-08-18 ch 4, | This is a good chapter. I like the explanation (the lack of vomit just thrills me LOL), and Damien's character is appealing and interesting. |
| Halcyon Impulsion 2006-08-18 ch 2, | The paragraph about the two kinds of darkness is really intriguing. I can understand why you feel this piece is rough and I agree with your assessment, but it has some good bones, even in just a couple chapters, and I think it's worth working on. Personally, I think swearing is overrated and it takes away a lot of a story's strength and creativity (though I recognize it's a preference thing). Generally when I come across a story with a lot of bad language it takes a lot for me to be willing to wade through the language and keep up with the story. Just a little reader perspective :) I like the Vicki/Victoria argument and the brief description of her is poignant - I'd like to see it explored (which maybe you do later). |
| Halcyon Impulsion 2006-08-18 ch 1, | Interesting dream sequence... I know I wrote and asked for suggestions, but I decided to start here :) What can I say - I'm impatient :) Poor Vicki, demented and tear-strewn and sleeping through two hours of a test! |
| A Beautiful Nightmare 2006-04-28 ch 9, | Hey. Awesome story... but I think it would be better if you proofread it a little more... then it would be excellent... haha... can't wait for the next installment... so... what's vicki going to do now? |
| miss-blackhair 2006-01-09 ch 8, | huh? what happened to the format? oh well, it's still readable. lol i really like how you potray some stuff and use the english language with your own unique twist. its a nice read. =) |
| miss-blackhair 2005-10-08 ch 7, | great action. =) |
| Gabrielle Wing 2005-10-04 ch 7, | That was good. I like it. Keep it up. Though, you might want to hit the spacebar harder, or look back to see if you've missed. Anyway, good story. |
| Smili 2005-07-31 ch 1, | hey. umm... it was... wow... i wish i could be a good riter lik u! ah, well, u better comment on my stuff when i start posting. btw, you might not want to use real names... its not safe. but other wise, its really good! |
| miss-blackhair 2005-07-23 ch 6, | i enjoyed.. =) |
| miss-blackhair 2005-07-12 ch 4, | i like how you ebd the chap.. =) |
| darkmiko 2005-07-09 ch 3, | i like your story especially the poem in this last chapter, keep up the good work |
| miss-blackhair 2005-07-08 ch 3, | i like the supernatural part, but i think the paragraphs are pretty long, a lil difficult to read. but i liked the plot. is there gonna be any romance?? |
| Orange Moose 2005-07-07 ch 1, | Wow. Just wow. Very very wow. |