dang grl, talk bout suspense! U gotta update this!

Biene

yup, I'm back, lol.

Very good. Rather suspenseful and action-filled beginning. I'm sure there are other peeps like me that will be angry if you discontinue it. also, good show on the grammatic and spelling skills; you are improving (thanks to my perfectionism? ha ha) greatly (i sound like an old sensei!) the only friendly criticism i can think of is the choppy-sounding use of things like "slowly yet surely" and "tightly yet securely" that kinda break the flow of the sentence. That is all.

I like it you should definitly continue!