Pretty Cool! Still like Zepher better.

This is a really gud story could you write so more chapters 4 the story

Okay good story. Yes The fight scene needs a second read through before it starts to feel like it's right. I really like the part 'Growling, he answered, "I'm not really good at thinking!"'This section; 'He soon realised that he still harnessed such ability.' would probably sound better ** 'He soon realised that he still could harness such ability.' but it's not my story and I can only make suggestions.Also 'One punch headed for the right side of James' face, he leaned right.' Firstly it sounds incomplete and secondly to have leaned just to the right without leaning slightly back would mean he;d actually end up with Greg's fist in his face and the momentum of both would have meant if would hurt a hell of a lot more than if he had just stood there and taken the blow.One little grammatical point here '. . . shatterin in time with James' as he ripped out his pistol,. . .' The apostrophe at the end of James isn't needed.Otherwise it's a good story something I'd readily go back and re-read. Which isn't something I can say about a lot of authors with publications in stores or on places like Fanfiction or FictionPress.

Chay

It's really good. Even if you reckon the second chapter is too short, there's no way you can really lengthen it, that I can see, where it wouldn't just interrupt the story. There was on thing here: “In bed, though I can’t remember who I was with; they’re all starting to look the same now. He smiled;. . . a world of lies and deceit., Where there neede to be speach marks before He smiled. .. Otherwise the rest of it was good.