FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| the naked civil servant 2006-03-01 ch 1,   | the first line knocked me sideways. from there it was a crescendo of beauty right up to the last defiant desperate helpless last line. gorgeous. |
| vonlan 2005-08-17 ch 1, | sounds like somebody got hurt on a rainy day. it makes me think of a scene, of a picture frame smashing into a puddle of water and this is the tableaux- then flash- someone's got tears streaming down their face in the rain, its blended and you can't tell. i am quite the oddity. |
| kalmia raphael 2005-08-17 ch 1, | short again but good. love the stylistic thingies here, the off-rhyming and the alliteration, and also more unconventional slashes, italics etc. ending line really strikes home. accident - media playout of the accident is nothing like the reality. at least that's my idea. don't fully understand this poem but it is morbidly pretty. |
| til-iburnout aka Amanda Hel... 2005-08-14 ch 1, | You sure know how to drag a person in with the opening lines. I loved it. |
| citrus scented 2005-08-12 ch 1, | i adore the opening lines, they are just so strong and effective- they really reel you in. incredible poem, really celevrly written. |
| in theory 2005-08-08 ch 1, | Wow, very creative clur. Not spoken to you for awhile, hope you're doing good. =) |
| Cloud Burst 2005-08-07 ch 1, | very abstract and creative, beautiful. |
| AboveTheSalt 2005-08-06 ch 1, | You chose very strong words; there is nothing light about this poem. Its brevity certainly adds to the cutting, emotional/instinctual feel. The colors and images you chose are incredibly striking - red dust, water full blast, screen flickers green, blackout. Definitely enjoyed this one. |
| Moonjava 2005-07-31 ch 1, | The imagery in this is just great. Nice work. |
| The Melissa Occult 2005-07-20 ch 1, | Interesting enough. |
| simpleplan13 2005-07-18 ch 1, | wow.. insanely powerful... awesome awesome poem.. i love the first line of the middle stanza |
| Escapist 2005-07-14 ch 1, | The impact of the first line is staggering, because GODDAMN: it takes a lot to smash Polaroid prints to smithers. The rest of the poem rolls off of that, your diction being just so strikingly appealing. |
| Kira Deleria 2005-07-09 ch 1, | This is an awsome poem. I love the imagry of the first 2 lines and the way you wrote the poem is interesting. The poem itself is moving and interesting, I liked it. Great work. |
| lackluster 2005-07-09 ch 1, | sad...love the last line particularly!! |
| TwystedFate 2005-07-09 ch 1, | Love the last line particularly. Lovely, as always. |