FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| kay.m.sea 2006-02-19 ch 1,  | abuseyou said you wanted constructive critism and i'd be happy to help. (i'd like the same on my writing)...i got kind of confused with the line that said "You tore families, marriages apart" now whether that was based off of something someone actually did or if it was just a random thought see if you might be able to clear that up a little bit. other than that it's good! keep writing! |
| Caliber bitchez 2005-10-25 ch 1, | abuseagain i say...wow man you think alot dont you hehe yea i do that to...but anyway keep it up! |
| Iris Gray 2005-09-16 ch 1, | abuseI like it. It's very fluid. You used some nice figurative language. Keep up the good work! |
| Oriel Vaughn 2005-07-19 ch 1, | abuseAww... nice one! The rhyme scheme helped to bring out the poem's quiet poignancy, although there are some parts where the rhyming is kind of awkward. Thanks for the review by the way :) |
| black*tears*of*innocence 2005-07-18 ch 1, | abusethis one was great also. the rhyming and flow was awesome. but, near the end, the flow started getting a little rough around the edges but the last few lines made for a beautiful, smooth ending. good job and KW! luv always,~davida |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-07-13 ch 1, | abuseThe emotions are strong, just need some more powerful imagery/sensory details. |
| aperson2nice 2005-07-13 ch 1, | abuseIt's great, at least I think. It flows very well. Keep up the good work :) |
| xRayne 2005-07-12 ch 1, | abusewow. i feel i can relate. good job, and keep up the good work. --Trisha |
| pencilchewer 2005-07-11 ch 1, | abuseHmm.. yes I understand what you mean. It was about a boy i knew who I trusted he went and did something horrible ruined my family. and I guess int the beginning I was saying how I tried to pretend it never happened.Yes I know it not my best but what can I say I tried |
| Hpfan-411 2005-07-11 ch 1, | abuseGood. but i feel you could do better. You have great potential. But in this poem i am not sure exactly what you are trying to get through or what i mean is ... the picture you are trying to create. Thank you for reading my stuff. hope to hear from you again. ~michelle |
| aloverslost 2005-07-11 ch 1, | abusei love the begging Nothing Is the matterEverything is fineThese are the lies that fill my mind thats great ... the rest is good to .. that just relates to me |