Wow, that's really amazingly good. Bittersweet, and very emotional. Keep writing!

Why do you want to change it? I love your choice of words! Great job. Good recuring theme at the end of each verse!

Good, good. You've got this teen-emotion plot but made an epic out of it, which is admirable. Pretty good word flow and quite nice imagery, with a first section that brings the reader in and lets the rest slowly bring the plot.

This is just WOW, it was a truly amazing and beautiful poem. You realy have a way with words.

I think this poem is beautiful :-)

you have talent. this poem is especially great!