 Amerlia 2005-10-19 . chapter 1This is an enjoyable piece.The style you adopted flows wonderfully. You wrap yourself around the words so intimatly, yet detatched.It gives the impression of jealousy, anger, and resentment at time wasted, lost, or unused. Someone walking down the street, beating themselves up.Or someone sitting at a dingy bar, alone, drink in hand.Or someone laying alone at night, with the television still on, but the sound on mute.I also like the directional flow. In the beginning, it took off with a mock-lecture. the middle, sarcastic-philosophical, and the end- reminiscent (almost nostalgic) regret.Again, lovely flow with your style. |
 anon 2005-07-21 . chapter 1 The window reference made me smile. :)
You lost me after 'I just didn't get it', though. Not bad- four lines from the end, the last of which I followed- and kind of ironic... I'm sure it's genius, but I'm also sure it's 3 in the morning and I've already watched my two movies for the day (or yesterday?), so it's likely just going over my head. |