killer last line. love the mermaid.

'Flailing mermaid' presents a different sort of image to the others. 'she smokes like a train wreck' is a brilliant line. Nice piece.

RAW

Wow, the images in this are great. 'this shell-shocked tragedy'. Love that.

WOW. The elements to this are fantastic.

ohi really really like this one. i like how you put words into perentheses(sp) also thank you for the review...though the way my poem looks isn't the way i want it to look..blah blah..anyways really good job on this one!

the world you are spinning through your words is just stunning. the words are just amazing as the convey so many emotions all at once, and yet give it so much power an beauty to it. a wicked poem, made me shiver as I read the last lines. brilliant.

* noelle

Love the images, especially the "(like a fish in the sun)". Nice touch with the countdown, as well. Another great poem!

just wicked wicked writing. flow wonderfuly, and some fantastic images in it. such a twisted, wonderful, crazily beauitufl world you're spinning very effective.

whoa!i'm guessing your writer's block ended? it sounds amazing and the words within it are just so meaningful yet almost tragic.