Reviews for Slurpees On Saturday Night

Reviews For: Slurpees On Saturday Night

Morcirith 2006-02-24 ch 1,	abuseagain, something doesn't sit right with me...i'm so confused... ~__~
Moondog Dozier 2006-02-05 ch 1,	abuseVery interesting. A wonderful scene and feeling you've created with this. Using the "Slurpee" image gives this an added aspect of leisure that enhances the work. Good write.
x Salem x 2006-02-03 ch 1,	abuseYou could have made this so many more words. You stuck in a lot of details (July, Saturday), but there could have been waay more than 98 words. Where did you buy the slushie? Is is the Seven Eleven kind? Is it blue or red? Is the roof of your mouth numb yet? Are there cute animals on your pj's? What posters are you staring at? Etc. etc. etc. ^_^
Tikvah Ariel 2006-01-08 ch 1,	abuse"Isit" needs proper spacing. Anyways, overall it is really much too short to convery a story with your writing style. "second spent frozen with cold" This line is a bit confusing, because Slushies are cold. You also don't need to include word count or title inside the document, Fictionpress does that for you. Overall though I liked the emotion and sense of relaxation that you conveyed. Just with detail ridden it to me appeared as though it rather be a poem.
E Penguin 2005-07-23 ch 1, anon.	abuseNow I know what a drabble is. Sort of. Nothing (well nearly) is better than a cold slurpee on a hot day, though I would recommend that it be SLURPED OUTSIDE! What's this couch business? Couches are for winter! ;-)
Tangerine Tickle 2005-07-19 ch 1,	abuseME, TOO!! ^__^ ~Tangerine Tickle~
Darthen 2005-07-17 ch 1,	abuseIt's... pointless. But I guess that might be the point. In which case, it isn't pointless. I'm guessing this is just a project in imagery or something? Or maybe just you saying that you like the summer. Hmm... Yes. Pointless, but with a point. Imagery without an image. And summer without a winter. This is pretty good. It's not bad. Just sort of... pointless. All in all I like it. Good job.

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