the story of adam is too short..

how cheap within seconds Joseph died...

oh i can't believe luka died...

WOW is all i have to say. This story was amazing and if it is purely fictional and not based on yourself or a friend then you have an amazing imagination.

You have a way with words and this touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes.

I want to thankyou as it put things in perspective for me. I am a bisexual female with a gay hating father, he thinks they should die. But my friends love and accept me and my fathers not going to find out so after reading this story I found my life is so much better then it could be.

Thank you for this story it is truly a gift.

Now of course I will give you some constructive critism after all how else will you get even better? You only had a few minor flaws, the 1st was it seemed to end rather suddenly, the story just sort of cut off without much information of Adam and Micheals relationship or future and no real resolution to the story, the 2nd slight problem was if Adam was bisexual he only showed an interest in women like twice and very insignificantly which makes you think he is full gay, but then again maybe he swings closer to his own gender.

Sorry for the uber long review, if you want to contact me with a reply to this my email is

(to people reading this review dont bother thinking your cool by spaming my email, ill just laugh and delete, unless your saying hello of course, then ill reply)

sincerely,

Nicole

Loved it! I would absolutely LOVE to see a film about this! Have you ever considered writing a screenplay for it?

x

you write beautifully :)

This was amazing! I love how now I can understand Adam more in-depth, understand his struggle. Poor, poor Adam. I just want to give him a hug...and clap Michael on the back for being a savior.

Excellant job!

Beautiful story, it felt so painful yet sweet. Great job.

Is Michael a real person? I'm afraid I don't watch much MTV, so I can't really say I'd know one way or another. I'd assume he's not, as this is an original fiction webpage, but I can't say for sure. _

I love the ending, pensive, contemplative outlook Adam assumes at the end of the chapters. Deep things like that always get me, and I love that cliche comparison he made as well. _

Good work! When I have more time, I'm definately going to have to read some of the other works... including Adam's other story. _

So this chapter didn't move fast at all. _ I like how Adam's slowly coming into realization of his new love, and then suddenly it REALLY hits him. I'm also glad you didn't just start him off as gigantically huge, as I've seen many authors do in the past. _ Good job!

I think perhaps the people in the confession booths should be writers. They, perhaps above all, hear EVERYTHING, outrageous to basic. With a bit of compassion and human understanding, I think they could write an awesome novel using what they've learned through their invisible booth.

That aside, I don't understand Adam's vague concern over Luka's death. Shouldn't he take it harder? It can't be so basic. Adam can't be so cold.

Of course, this isn't the Adam I saw in Superstar either.

I like the flow of this chapter, but I can't help hoping for some more, some different interaction with Luka. Certainly not details; just interaction, smiles and laughs and casual dates. I'd like to know him a bit more before, well... he dies.

Aside from that, I do love the pensive, wise outlook Adam takes on his life. I love how he criticizes what he's done, but doesn't outwardly regret it. In all, I do love his personality.

Oh boy. You make me want to write a story about prostitutes now. _ I think Adam's reaction to everything is still a little vague but again, I'm sure that's merely your style. D Although, the deal Seth made is very curious. What he's doing is surely illegal; I know that much. However, though Adam is beautiful, I find it strange that he simply arrives in LA and is almost immediately offered a job. Of course, it's your story, not mine, so I'm not permitted to complain. _

Anyway, good work again!

Well, Joseph was certainly short-lived. I kind of wish you'd have made this chapter longer, and a bit more detailed. I understand that vague seems to be Adam's forte, but to a reader I think it's a bit frustrating. MORE is the keyword to everything. _

Aside from that, I can kind of feel Adam's life leaking from the pages... (computer haha) and I can sense his distortion. I like the present-past tense you're using; it's something I've always longed to use one day myself. _ Good writing as always

This chapter's moving a bit fast, but I suppose that's okay for this type of storyline. Anyway, I get both good and bad vibes from Joseph. I kinda like him, and at the same time I don't. I don't know. _