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Reviews For: inside my mind - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

in theory
2005-11-20
ch 2,
Pretty, and your pen name interested me too. Nice work :)
David Stephen
2005-10-21
ch 8,
Wow - these poems are so heartfelt and I can tell they have come from the heart. You write with a lovely flare - continue! Thank you for my review for TRRT- it is very much appreciated! :) ~DS~
teendramaqueen2005
2005-08-26
ch 8,
hey, these are really good! Keep up the great work
Katterree Fengari
2005-08-11
ch 7,
hmm...again the tone feels, I don't know, skewed. A little too much repitition on the "5 years" I think. But good rhythm. However, I have no idea what happened to the speaker.
Katterree Fengari
2005-08-11
ch 6,
um...oddly enough, it feels like you're telling the story from an outside perspective. Like, if you had it in third person instead of first, it would make sense.

I mean, the bitter "life made me this way" fits, but saying that "I have an...attititude" and "hoping/ that one day/ I will live" just feels like a conflicting tone to me. Psychologically, it doesn't make sense, I don't know...maybe if it were after-the-fact.

There's also some typos on the line "lite up m life" 'lit' and 'my' instead, I think.

I do like the repitition of "wishing/ hoping" that works well.
Lady Sakaki
2005-08-07
ch 3,
"is it right to wake up everyday and dread the sun?"

I love that line.
Lady Sakaki
2005-08-07
ch 2,
OH! very nice and descriptive. i liked it alot!!
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 8,
Beautiful work.
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 7,
5 years is a long time. Maybe something really great will change your life in the future and you'll go back to being happy and carefree.
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 6,
Yep, I go through that every single day.

It's definitely a trip.
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 5,
I guess you just have to make yourself open up to people. I have to. It's really hard, but sometimes, it can make life a lot easier.
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 4,
Hmm... Yeah... Life's a **.
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 3,
That. Is. Exactly. How. I. Feel.

Enough said.

Awesome poem
DragonFaeLynn
2005-08-07
ch 2,
Cute. I like it.
Lady Sakaki
2005-08-02
ch 1,
P.S. "the prophecy" sounds cool!!
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