Wow, this is brilliant. I love the overall style and feel of it - the ending might've been a little weaker than expected, but it still gathered together your thoughts and wrapped it up well. Thanks for gracing the writing world with this gem.

Sakka-Fenikkusu

I really like this. A lot of graphic immagery that translates directly into emotions that most high schoolers feel on a daily basis. Just a beautiful poem.

I adore the pride and power in this. I love how it strength does not diminish the so real human emotion within.

Your use of repetition is highly effective. It enhances the mood and tone of the poem quite nicely. I don't think that the bolding technique worked well, because the emphasis is already in place without it. I love the allusion to the cyclops. Nicely done!

Very powerful... many people have trouble conveying emotion like that.

A little graphic for my taste, but hey, that's just me.

And this reminds me of the dear high school I still attend. . .Amazing work I must say!

it's powerful. :smiles: i like it alot.

EB

amazing .. use of repetition is especially powerful, as a common theme throughout, and then again at the end.

amazing work. this is going to be added to my favorites.