This tore at my heart. Very good. Very short.It could be developed into so much more. Perhaps a longer story?

It's good, but it would be much more convincing if A: She wasn't beautiful;B: This story was probably 10 times longer;But it's a great story still.

It's a shame you had to squeeze everything into a chapter. Why not make a unique story and describe Nathaniel and Darlita's relationship in the heavens? Just a suggestion. Overall, this story is really tragic, but good as well.

~~Trinity

This was good, though I think it would have been better if it was in a poetic form.