 LemonFlats 2005-08-24 . chapter 1Ahh... skimming your other work, I can tell you're a brilliant writer.
The rhyming: It's interesting. I would never have tried it (I'm old-fashioned, maybe? I should probably get over that, eh? Take chances and all that... Oh, well), but you did it convincingly. I didn't even notice the rhyming at first, which is good, because it means that it wasn't incredibly forced or awkward. Good job.
I really like the subject matter (for lack of a better term). It makes me stop and think a bit. I like that =)
In the first stanza, you do a wonderful job of setting the stage, so to speak. I especially like the "questing footsteps".
I have a question, though-- If he was the only one of his kind, how will he love and create life? I could be taking this too literally, I suppose-- that he's alone in the sense of having no friends.
Anyway, great writing =) |
 Ahrar 2005-07-22 . chapter 1 Nice.Really, I like it. Not as much as some of your other poems, but I kinda groove on this. It's deep, and makes me want to go back over again and read it slower, which is always a good thing. You've still got it. Keep it up, love.See ya._Ahrar |