Reviews for Butterfly Underwear

Reviews For: Butterfly Underwear - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Saskia Tielens 2005-11-01 ch 6,	abuseThis is a beautiful story, very realistic and it shows very well what submitting to God's plan really is! The ending isn't sudden, it's almost perfect. Good job.
Saskia Tielens 2005-11-01 ch 3,	abuseI don't really get why this incident was embarrasing. Sure it's not nice to be laughed at, and parents can embarrass you without meaning to, but that shouldn't so mortifying. What don't I see?
Saskia Tielens 2005-11-01 ch 2,	abuseAlso very good. Allie seems pretty real, although I can't really get a sense of Tia Christie. Maybe because she feels younger than she is (she acts like a young person, when she's obviously not that young anymore -right?)
Saskia Tielens 2005-11-01 ch 1,	abuseI like this chapter. It isn't boring at all. I was confused about Allie's age for a while, but in the last section you make clear that she's about seventeen. Maybe you could do this a bit earlier? I sensed Allie wasn't really a kid anymore, but I wasn't sure.
JC-Saved-Me 2005-09-03 ch 6,	abuseAmen to God's Will. I loved the end message of this story. Now onto story 2...lol then your new one! lol :D
Allen-Oz 2005-08-10 ch 1,	abuseinteresting story. Especially this plan business. Is any of it true?
The Postscript 2005-07-29 ch 6,	abuseHey...awesome conversations you've been writing in this chapter and the last one as well. These devotionals you are writing sound a heck of a lot like the ones I was given at a youth quake in January for the past three years...in a hotel where a band called Captive Free comes in and plays songs, a speaker does devotionals, and there are other activities to do...all bringing us closer to God. Anyhoo...great chapter, look forward to reading more!
The Postscript 2005-07-29 ch 5,	abuseNice chapter...I enjoyed reading the unraveling of the characters a bit more this chapter, and the shorter length of it really kept my attention drawn the whole time...so I couldn't miss any important details. :D
An Inside Joke 2005-07-29 ch 6,	abuseO, breakthrough. I like the message in this chapter, maybe because I think it reflects some things in my own life, but also because it's unique, and more realistic than messages like "Love will overcome everything!" I don't know if you plan to keep going or if you're going to let this chapter be the end, but either way, I think you've done a good job with what you've already writen.
An Inside Joke 2005-07-29 ch 5,	abuseKinda short chapter, I liked the explanation of the Alley Cat thing, though.
An Inside Joke 2005-07-28 ch 4,	abuseYOu did a better job with tense in this chapter- and wow, I didn't see that twist coming! How old is your narrator, by the way? She strikes me as either an underclassman in high school or possibly an eighth grader at the youngest, but I'm not always very good at judging age based on story-telling style.
The Postscript 2005-07-28 ch 4,	abuseHa...all this shallow "He's mine" stuff is hilaroius. I must say this wasn't the best chapter I ever read from this because it's just one event that seems to be missing something to make it complete. But you're adding to the story, and I like that. I look forward to reading more.
An Inside Joke 2005-07-27 ch 3,	abuse"The most embarressing moment of her life" doesn't really seem all that bad. This chapter made Allie come across as a little bit spastic, since she described a lot of terrible, embarressing moments that weren't all that bad. Again, watch your tense.
An Inside Joke 2005-07-27 ch 2,	abuseIt's always fun to go shopping for cute underwear- ahem. Anyway, cute chapter, just the right mixture of overplayed teenage angst and humor. How does the narrator think Justin is going to see her underwear at youth group? Make sure you don't switch between past and present tense.
The Postscript 2005-07-26 ch 3,	abuseAnother great chapter. You have a laid back style that's natural and easy to read. Great job. I look forward to reading another chapter!

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