|Reviews for Book I : Inner Demon|
| Descoral 12/1/10 . chapter 24
Hmm. I'm sorry I didn't include this with my other review (I rarely read the little blurps before/after chapters. Whoopsies ;D) ... Anyways, since you wanted feedback specifically for the fightscene, I'll write a second review.
I reread the fight scene and from my standpoint it was extremely well done. Way to go! :p ... You kept the fight exciting (didn't just keep using the same attack/defense), and you also kept a good balance between detailing each attack/defense without decribing every little thing.
You also created stimulating fighting tactics that made me try to literally picture what was happening because it didn't involve anything as generic as "he threw a fireball at her... she threw a lightningbolt."
As for the speech portion of the fight, I'd say it felt right for the situation; neither a rambling 10 minute speech nor silence. Ram once again came off as a creepy 'brains-bashed-in' nutcase. (I can kinda sympathize with the poor guy though, it's not entirely his fault he went psycho. I have to blame Amon for at least a good portion of how Ram turned out. \ Ah well, I still hope he dies.)
The only time I was confused was when Reyna first woke up after the fight, but I assumed that was intentional.
Anyways I hope that helped, if not...I tried. :P
| Descoral 12/1/10 . chapter 26
You're such a wonderful writer! ;)
I enjoyed the seriousness that's mixed in with all of the humour and the budding romance. Mundus! Mundus! Mundus! Mundus! I forbid Reyna to love anyone else! ;p *stabs Dante*
I also like how you didn't use some of the more popular names for your characters, yet you didn't go so far as to make the names unpronounceable/awkward.
Hehehe Mundus is so grumpy, it's cute when he tries to be nice.
ID is highly entertaining and I cannot wait for the next update!
| another randome reader 11/6/10 . chapter 26
wow this story is awsome I couldn't stop reading it (m Mundus is so hot) please update as soon as you can I can't wait to hear the story of why she is queen of everyone (more specifically the mortals) sounds interesting and I hope he gets his body back soon
| Charlee Rayne 8/29/10 . chapter 8
wow... wonder what amon is going to do?
| Charlee Rayne 8/29/10 . chapter 7
did he love her? I don't undertand why he seems to really like Reyna but killed the other girl...
guess i'll find out, ha?
| Charlee Rayne 8/29/10 . chapter 5
| Chlo-Bo The Klutz 8/21/10 . chapter 25
Your so welcome for the review :) I love giving reviews because it gives the writer so much inspiration to write more! Anyways, I want you to write more! That damn cliff-hanger in the end of the chapter made me cringe for the next chapter! I wanted to know who the hell was the demon girl. Ah! Oh my goodness, I'm sorry, but Mudus line "It is quite an excellent physique" made me laugh SO hard my dog was looking at me weird :P Can't wait for Mudus to FINALLY be in his body; schmexy body that is ;)!
| Sonyashinto 8/16/10 . chapter 25
Im looking forward to your next chapter, and im betting that it is going to get VERY interesting ;)
Update very soon!
| Haybell 8/12/10 . chapter 25
I liked it. It was good. Update soon!
| Babiidoll 8/11/10 . chapter 25
Wonderful! I really love this story so much! Its really good! There were a few typos and instances where you put in the wrong word, but I could deduct what you meant. Great job though!
| Chlo-Bo The Klutz 7/28/10 . chapter 24
The fighting was very good. I know, it is difficult to write those scenes. You have to like describe what every person does and moves in which way. Okay, Ram? Oh my, he is like-ugh I don't know why, but there is something going on with him. It's hard to explain. At first I was like "Mundus stabbed her! No!" but then I kept reading and understand better. Haha love the scene of Mundus not like flying :)
| Slave2Karma 7/21/10 . chapter 1
Wow. You certainly know how to paint a picture with words. This is a spectacular beginning—you write in great depth and know just where to hit for impact. I am digging your narration, especially the parts where you describe the blood on the sword and the battlefield. It’s detailed and poetic, I can practically see this bloody scene playing out in my head—this would make a damn fine comic.
Adding to favs and will be returning when I can, keep up the most excellent work!
| angelys 7/13/10 . chapter 4
So your story is interesting, but can i point out that Reyna accepts the demon inside her too fast. also that in the first few chapters, its all so vague, and confusing. More emotion needs to be put into it and more explanation as well. They havent known eachother at all n she already feels something nice about him, there needs to be more interaction, and let it get deeper in order for them to develop any sort of relationship whether it be good or bad. I hope that you can take my critique as a helpful one, i really enjoy the story, but i just want to help you make it better. ) thank you for your time.
| Babiidoll 7/11/10 . chapter 1
| SLTora 6/19/10 . chapter 23
Oh man, left us with a cliff hanger! So mean! I can't wait to read more! This is such an awesome story!
There were a few typos, but it didn't slow my reading down. Have fun this summer!