Reviews for Unrequited Love - FictionPress.com

Jenni Mills 2006-06-13 ch 1,	abuseShe thought a few weeks when the kids around the block had beaten her up because she didn’t give them any money for their unwanted protection...is there a word missing here..."about" perhaps? 12 year olds don't cry when their mum doesn't turn up, they get angry, 8 year olds or 5 year olds might though. She tripped and fell from broken beer bottles...should this be, from the obstavcle of broken beer bottles?...it doesn't quite make sense as it is. She gazed at the rivers of blood that was flowing from her veins to the floor...it is a bit jaring to be on the street one minute and then...somewhere else in the next sentence wiothout some explanation of movement. It's a very sad story. What more can I say?
mizu no kokoro 2005-07-26 ch 1,	abuseAw... a well written piece~~ i'm sure some plp can really relate~~ Great work keep writing!
KonekOniko 2005-07-24 ch 1,	abuseAww, Ka-chan, that's so sad! -sniffiles- -clears throat- The story was pretty well written though, but in my opinion, the beginning was a tad bit weaker then the ending. The ending has an impact on the reader that makes them feel like crying. I'm not sure what weakens this story, but you DID say you were a bit rusty, so I'll give you credit. ^-^ Anyways, it was an enjoyable read, hope to see more from ya, Ka-chan! ~Sumi-chan; What you call love, I call pain.