Amazing. Short, but awesome. I really admire your ability to describe things. This is very good and I'll be waiting for more great stuff from you! Now, I shall go and look at your FMA fanfictions...

~Sayonara~

Very interesting, it's well-written and it's thought-provoking. You create quite a spooky atmosphere which goes well with the story. THe only suggestion I have would be that you'd change the rating to maybe K+ or T, since K is okay for those at least 6 years old, and I don't think this is the ideal story for a six-year-old. No offense though, good job nonetheless.

That is creepy. But well written. Nicely done.

You're right. That IS kind of creepy. But, for some reason, I'm fascinated. Your descriptive abilities are AMAZING! Keep writing, dude. You're really good at it.

~ Lunchi