FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Osunale 2005-07-26 ch 1,  | abuseThe dialogue seems a bit too stylized at times and there is an overall lack of development. The play moves too fast, sometimes seeming a bit random, or like I was watching a show sporadically, missing several episodes. I do like the writing though, what is here is excellent. It's a nice story, and with a little expansion it could be great. Keep writing! |