Nice... update crims! XD

Interesting so far. You probably should space it out more...a space between every three or so sentences. It's harder to read when it's written in ridgid paragraphs.I think you have an interesting story starting here. Keep it up!

Wow i love this, you should really start the whole story, i can't wait to read more.

I have a suggestion for you, in hell, you hit the demonic creatures on the head. But last time i checked heaven didn't have any fairies, you might want to consider using something,like the sarephim they are one of the higer creatures who do nothing more than praise God. Or the glories, wich are responsible for bestowing blessings. not that i'm trying to tell you how to write your story, i just rembered having to research the creatures for my story and thought you might want to know.

either way keep up the good work, and i think i'll put this on my favorites list

Its REALLY good, now write the actual story plzREALY GOD

An interesting start. Story-inclined, I have no complaints. I look forwrd to future updates!

But I do have some suggestions. A few grammatical errors and run-on sentences could be fixed. Also, you could separate the two large paragraphs into smaller bits. The story would be easier to follow. And as one writer I met here at fictionpress told me: don't be afraid to make small paragraphs. ^_^ These are just my thoughts. ^_^

ps: Would you mind leaving a comment for my story "Lunar Chaos"? I would really like to improve my writing, so any constructive criticism (or praise... KIDDING! really, I was! ^_^;) would be greatly appreciated. But please, don't feel forced to. =)

~Eyes of Amethyst