Do we have to poke you here too? :)

Your right about the description... but i keep getting told to write the same... and cut/change later lol.

Work on this when u can... Know what ur going through.. Destiny is the same...

Great Beginning... Really pulled into the story already. Why didn't you say you had stories published here! LOL I will keep reading...

It's cool so far, but I can't really tell yet, you know! There's only one thing I would suggest, in the secondary prologue, the first paragraph is the "clicker", because the first prologue is the hook. Only one sentence, "The heat of the closing summer day lay heavily in the air, yet on the outskirts of the forest where the trees thinned enough to allow a smattering of sunshine to teal through, a comfortable breeze rustled the leaves, causing shadows to dance along the path, and lightly stirring the golden hair of a lone traveler on the path", It's kind of a run on and says path twice. I like the imagery you use, though, it's really awesome. I look forward to more chapters (and there had better BE more chapters)!

-SapphireIris

Oh, and you are here as well! It's so much fun discovering a bunch of my favorite FFnet authors here as well. (This is BakaBokken, by the way. ;D I run around under a different pen name when it comes to the original stuff.)

This is a very intriguing start! Although it's been nearly a year since you've posted this introductory chapter, I would love to see where you take it next! It's quite well-written, and definitely sets up a very interesting story line. You could do a lot with this kind of opening scene. ;3

Anyway, take care! Glad to find that you're also over here at FPcom. ;D

Oh, I'm going to like this, I can tell!

The tone of resigned bitterness, the foreshadowing of unfulfilled promise.

And I love the lines: "Ready? No? It doesn't matter."

Oh, I think there's a typo in the first paragraph: "hour" s/b "our".

-the good guy doesn't always win-

You have OFFICIALLY gotten yourself a reader. I await your next chapter.