This is excellent. I mean... really. I'm pretty sure you've got a wonderfully elaborate extended metaphor thing going on here (tell me if I've got it all wrong) and it works brilliantly.

This is pretty good, almost too abstract in a way though. It would be a better piece overall if you made it longer, gave hints as to a further in-depth explanation. It might be interesting if you incorporated the stain later on, gave it some extra meaning, put in a single sentence at the end to imply it was blood from so-and-such happening, whatever. Just to add an extra "woah."