 HoujunRi 2005-10-01 . chapter 3Should you continue? Of course! I love the ending...It's soo cute! I imaged Shinta in SD form. =] Well I wish to read moore. I'm starting to like Trisha a bit. =] |
 Moonlight Kitsune 2005-09-04 . chapter 3About the part when Shinta and Kami got together, it was cute but it seemed out of character. o__O I wouldn't know since they're not my characters. >__< You have a few mistakes with commas and some typos, like putting the word "addiction" when I think you meant "addition." And you keep asking if you should continue. You've already gone this far, you shouldn't stop.
^_^ |
 ChibiKawaiiAnime 2005-08-16 . chapter 2Yay me gonna review now XP
so for starters, this isn't that important now that I think of it since he's talking. but in "Nearly two months had passed!" shouldn't it be have? *shrugs*
I like Yuki better now XP. She's reasonable XD
Hmm I sorta don't like parts of Katsu. Like how he is in class. Makes me wanna slap him. *nods* I find him to be a bit of an **.
I think we still need to get a look at Yatrina. She's still kind of flat.
"Then at the end, everyone would be happy and found someone he or she loved like a cliché story or fairytales." Not sure but should it be find? not found.
When Yuki and Shinta are playing Basketball. Do they have two balls or one? @.@
"kitchen, their mother, Sae entered" I think it would sound better written = "Sae, their mother, entered"
I'm sitting in the rain! Oh sitting in the rain! How happy I am! Sitting in the rain! XP
Ha the part about Shinta becoming independant And Katsu telling him reminds me of a scene I read in a manga not too long ago. XD |
 Moonlight Kitsune 2005-08-16 . chapter 2Of course you should continue. You already started it and you're almost close to ending it. I think.
Earlier in the chapter, you said Shinta "banged his head into his pillow." I could be wrong, which is me, but that doesn't mix well. >.< In the eighth paragraph, you have a little mistake about the noisy kids not being quiet.
In the paragraph starting with "The next day," maybe you should say "sitting on one of the seats" instead of "sitting on the seats". Of course, it might not matter. The sentence after that, maybe say "taking out the violin."
"Whilst" is okay, but so is "while." >>;
About the "snigger" thing. Maybe you could use "snicker" too? Unless it doesn't explain the scene as you would like or you have something against the candy.
I think it's okay... instead of saying "he or she", say "he" because it sounds weird. Unless you're a "FOR WOMEN!" person and want to add that in. >>;
So all these maybe pointless corrections aside, as I'm sure you'll correct me on them (^^;), Yuki is weird. I mean, I know I'm weird too, but she's just... weird. DX;
Ha ha, and my fondness for Katsu has grown even more. |
 HoujunRi 2005-08-15 . chapter 2One thing.
*Le Gasp*
Soo frikin cool! Ok Mr. Nazuli sells the drugs right? If so, I frikin knew it! See I'm smart =] Next chapter you have to tell me about why Trisha is back. I want to know =] Also Yatrina seemed very ... err ... well she was a ** for doing that to poor Shinta. I still hope Shinta loves Mr. Nazuli... Even if he is the one selling drugs, if not. Eh! =] Should you continue this? ** yeah! =] Sorry for the cussing... |
 HoujunRi 2005-08-11 . chapter 1Continue this to the very end yah know?
So cute and sweet. Wai! X3 Ha Yatrina chicken out. Good thing. I hope Shinta and Mr. Nazuli gets together. I so knew that Shinta had a little thing going for Mr. Nazuli. Heh!
I don't know why, but I *Love* Teacher/Student relashionship. So that better be it! I don't want no Katsu/Shinta paring! No! Well, eh. It's cute and all, but still!
Ugh! Trisha kinda annoyed me while reading this, I mean it! Nyuu, I don't know why, but she seems alot like my own brother. I hate it > |
 ChibiKawaiiAnime 2005-08-01 . chapter 1I like Shinta's sister! Trisha! Oh yea! Bossy cool older sisters! X3 the girls are so annoying. >.< argh! such a disgrace to girls everywhere. I take it we're not really supposed to like them much? ^_^ Of course it must continue. The ending is much too open to leave as the very end. XD |
 morbidfaith666 2005-08-01 . chapter 1This story was very interesting, it had me wondering until the end ^.^ I liked all the characters, especially Shinta. |
 Kaay-chan 2005-08-01 . chapter 1This was really good. But why did you have to take off Try Harder? If this isn't the same story, then you should keep it up. It was good! Anyway, update soon! |
 Moonlight Kitsune 2005-08-01 . chapter 1Ha ha ha! Damn right you should continue! XD Lessee... Yup, I really like Katsu. Ha ha, Chicken Katsu. XD Oh, and I liked what Katsu said before he left for English. "His ** is mine." That is very true, if you look at it another way. ^^ And what was it you said at the beginning of the story? Patty beta-ed this for you? >>; Okay... Well, interesting story. I like it a lot. You know, your Katsu character almost sounds like a character I have in my story, except for the gang thing. ^^ |
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