Ahh, it's been so long. How I have missed Bianca & Co. Mind rapes, huh? Interesting concept.

I like the idea of Bianca's and Rivalus' connection.

Great work and I hope to read more soon. ^_^

Hm... I like the concept of your story. It's interesting... yeah... I think it was the CORPSE acronym that got me...

Still, there's a couple problems. Your first paragraph sounds a bit info dump-y. In addition, you tell the audience what the characters look and act like rather than having the characters interact with each other and show their personalities. It's a relatively common error among amateur writers... so... yeah... just something to keep in mind... Oh yeah, your Everand character person seems too much like a Princely character... simply from reading Chapter 1 (maybe it changes later on), he seems too perfect.

I'm guessing that the whole Bianca-Everand marriage thing is going to be big. Maybe you could change the way you introduce that particular part of the story in a conversation rather than simply stating it.

...

Hm... what else... oh yeah, I'm guessing that the PSE and CORPSE are the two opposing sides. Rather than telling your audience that, why not start out with a CORPSE attack and maybe a PSE retaliation. It would make your first chapter more interesting and also provide information without you having to actually say it.

the story is great so far. keep going!

Nice! I really love backgrounds on chapters, and this was particularly enjoyable. I'd like to see more of Soh and the others, if it's feasible.

You've definitely improved over the time I've been reading this! You were good before, and now the story flows more smoothly, the paragraphs aren't as choppy, and I don't feel like I'm missing something. Very, very nice!!

ID

Even though I don't review very often, I just wanted to let you know that I love your stories and read your updates as soon as they come out. ^^ Thanks for another great chapter.

I liked this chapter! I think it tutned out very well - her reactions were really realistic, not at all ridiculous. Rivalis was actually rather funny, I thought, especially when he said she was making him nervous.

Surprisingly, I still like those Blindfolded dudes. I get the feeling they weren't doing anything to be cruel or forceful, but what they needed to do. If that what what you were going for, good! And if not, even better! Creating sympathy for characters when you don't mean to is a great trait for an author.

I liked the ending, where her memory is blurred. Interesting. Overall, I can't wait for the next one!

ID

Hey, I'm glad for an update! I'm looking forward to more - it's paced really well, in my opinion. Totally interesting.

If you wouldn't mind, and have any time, could you check out something of mine? I'd love another review from you. (grin)

ID

yay! you finally updated! wow i really want to know what happens next

yep...that would be me...imaigning worse case scenario. you nver get disappointed that way^_^ when are you updating "Exotic"?

...nya? I like it... And me's wants more^_^ Pwease?

Pretty please post more soon? :3

Ah, what a delightful story. No honestly, I like it quite a bit. I think Everand is pretty much a crybaby and rather self-centered, but oh well. I suppose his character is needed for the plot. The black patch on the other hand, seems qutie interesting. I hope to hear more from him in the next chapter. Keep up the good work and update soon! I know real-life can get kinda involved at times, but maybe you'll get some time around Christmas break if we're all lucky. I hope so!

WHY WONT YOU UPDATE

Hmm... maybe I should have reviewed later. But no matter.

I just reread the chapter due to my utter boredom. Still as good as the last time I read it! (Surprised, huh?)

Anyway, I just decided to review you because I am selfish and impatient, and I happen to be in love with your stories. Please, please update soon?

Actually, I read this on the first day you posted it. But I couldn't review then, obviously, because I needed to wait, bide my time, and then, review when you are least expecting it...

Because everyone knows that spontaneous action leads to more spontaneous action. Like... hm, another update perhaps? (I'm just a forward-thinker.)

Anyway, this chapter was awesome. I'm liking the new character so far. I don't really remember too much about him (I need to reread soon), but I think he had cool hair. And he was arrogant. I like arrogance. (Except in real life.)

I'm not really going to delve into the grammatical/spelling errors in this chapter, since I really don't remember, but just glancing at it, the first sentence jumps out at me.

"War is a messy thing, she was always aware of this."

How about: War is a messy ordeal; she had always been aware of this.

Your writing style is awesome, but a lot of your mistakes detract from it. If you want a beta-reader, I'll happily help.

Soh is eternally amazing. He should be shrined.