You're going to continue writing this story, right? I can't wait to find out what happens next.

Hmm... interesting.Good story line, well described surroundings, and a simple, but well developed plot. I expecially liked the biblical references. It reminds me of a story i wrote many years ago... complete garbage compared to what you have here, but I always appreciate a better writer. You seem to have a pretty good grasp on the short story method. Excellent work!p.s. Only three reviews... Isn't that sad? Especially when you have such a good piece of work sitting around. It kinda makes you hate those 'platinum members' who write stories like 'the life and times of a teenage girl and her gossipy friends.' and get 400+ reviews, just because they pay to get posted on the front page all the time.

A good start, I enjoyed it. But of you want some advice, try describing your characters and the world around them a little more, because I have almost no mental image of what they look like or where they are! Just don't over do it.~Saki

O.O Whoa . . .neat. Update!