Thank you. I'll work on that, As for usage of "conundrum", It was just a reference to another poem of mine.

Your usage of "conundrum" seemed off to me, but I don't actually know the correct grammatical 'rules' of the word so whatever this sentence is worth, here you go. As far as the piece as a whole, it was pretty good, but it could have gone more indepth. You might've used just better vocabulary, more descriptive ideas, et cetera to improve on the piece.