AGH. CURSED LAPTOP, HOW DARE YOU ERASE MY REVIEW! ::seetheseethesnarlsnark::

Anyway.

Loved it, very good...ah...conversational tone to the entire piece. Let us skip the kudos. ::hands a big box of Godiva::

It was fate for me to read this. Because, you see, tomorrow is picture day at our school. Picture day, as I see it, is another way to humiliate students. But then, I'm not photogenic. Or whatever. And our uniforms are stupid. Especially with their nit-picky torquiose.

Oh wow, please excuse rant. I'm afraid school is not a good topic. Right. This is a review...

Well, I liked it. Very much so. Espesially the pessamist part. Did you know pessamists are suposed to live longer than opptimists? I guess optimists get so tired of being so freaking happy they fall over and die.

And I'm just wondering. Is that person that came and sat with the character, her? Or is it just someone else? Or am I not making sence?

And I agree with you on how the people who always really REALLY complain about looking bad NEVER ever do. I hate it. At least they look like human...

Oh and I really like your first-person way of writing. The charater seems real and has a personality and doesn't think in subject-verb senteces. I hate that. Yes... erm... goodbye now.

Heh, pretty damn good. I'm guessing your pulling more of your own life into this than you did with Mack, because there are sections were some painful honesty - and if not honesty, fiction that perfectly relicates truth - has shined through beautifully.

hey you! Tis I...the one who just deleted her blog...knows you...yeah, that one? That's me

Ok, story.

1. I saw no major-screaming-look-at-me-i'm-wrong type errors, so no worries there

2. Articles such as the, it, is, blah blah blah are hard to find synonyms for as it is, sometimes i wish they would disappear, but tis not the point, i noticed no significant redundancy. Punctuation seemed perfectly fine to me, but then again i'm the one who uses elipses like its the last night of the world

3. I liked it. I liked the detailed description that sort of backs away once the picture is taken- like it's all building up to the one moment. I hope that was your intention...because otherwise i feel quite stupid

4. Eva Gabore...nice. I always have trouble thinking of names for characters

I liked how this piece was a bit different from your usual style and such. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be good :-)