Oh yeah, it's slightly alright, lol, keep writting, forever if you please.

*Optimum.

So sweet! Excellent job!

aw it's extremely sweet but very sad at the end, I hope things work out for you in the end...

Good imagery here, especially towards the beginning. Word choice could use some work, just to make the piece more interesting. The flow was alright, but it could be better. Not bad overall though.

Very mysterious and a little haunting. The title fits this perfectly.

Well-written. I can feel the relief in the girl and the pleading for her, and the dissapointment at the end.

Well done.*Hillary*