FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| eighteen hundred 2005-08-03 ch 1,  | abuseYou really need some help with your comas; they're in all the wrong places. That aside, this is an alright piece, if not a bit cliche. The whole idea of someone looking at themselves as though they were someone else, or looking in a mirror at someone they don't identify as themselves, what have you. It also got pretty redundant pretty fast, try mixing in some original ideas, some ** creativity. |