Reviews for Pandemonium - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Pandemonium - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 8,	abuse"high-level demons'"--"high level demon's". I wouldn't bother with the dash. "Michaels' words"--"Michael's words". "Lazarus' eyes"--"Lazarus's eyes". "pomegranate's have"--"pomegranates have". You make many mythological references. I like them. I like mythology and I loved a class I took on it. Charon is definitely an interesting individual. The last line was hilarious. Nice work. Please update soon. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 7,	abuse"it's white-hot tip"--"its white-hot tip". "It's target"--"its target". "it's prey"--"its prey". I like her sarcasm. Great chapter. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 6,	abuse"defiantly drugged" should be "definitely drugged". A queen is addressed "Her Majesty". A princess is addressed "Her Highness". So really he should address her as "Her Majesty" like he did in the beginning. Nice addition. Things just keep getting better and better. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 5,	abuse"My Dad"--Dad doesn't have to be capitialized when you're saying "my dad" because it's not a title. Dad without the my is captialized because it is a title. "lot's of" should be "lots of". Nice cliffhanger. Great addition. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 4,	abuseI like Elaine. "Holyson" was a great hint of what's to come. Another intriguing and amusing chapter. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 3,	abuse"Its times like this"--"It's times like this". "Have either of you gone."--"Have either of you gone?" ""Ow" I moaned," should be ""Ow," I moaned,". Intriguing addition. This story is an enjoyable read. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-08-04 ch 2,	abuse"My names Elaine" should be "My name's Elaine". Her boyfriend sounds gorgeous. Her narration continues to be funny. It looks like her mom is scary. Nice work. Thanks for the reviews of "Reckoning". I really appreciate it. ~Twilight Starr~
Twilight Starr 2008-06-28 ch 1,	abuseI loved the summary and I love the story. Great job! Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer. ~Twilight Starr~
avelseth 2008-06-24 ch 1, anon.	abuseI am looking forward to reading more of Pandemonium it's funny I like it
liltwilightkit 2008-06-23 ch 8,	abusePlease update soon! And happy early birthday! =]
deadlyprincess 2008-06-23 ch 8,	abusehi, i'm new to your story, but so far i've really enjoyed it. you've managed to make me laugh out loud on a couple of different occasions. i hope you update soon.
Mister Black 2008-06-23 ch 8,	abuseI read all of the story up to today at once...man, it's a while between each update. 2005? Wow. Your life must be much more interesting than mine. I agree with the note at the end of the last chapter...this is the part where Paris really starts to get the magnitude of the situation. It's working so far, it's still new to her and she's still kind of in disbelief about the whole thing. but, something needs to happen that makes it sink in, and Paris realizes, well, just how important she is and everything she does is now. And, (although it's not a big deal), you do seem to paint the character well, but do you have to swear so often? Paris's more foul-mouthed than I am when I'm drinking with my buddies. Seems a little much for a reasonably smart high-school girl.
StrawberryKisses08 2008-06-23 ch 8,	abuseHappy birthday tomorrow ^^ How old will you be? Great chapter =D Update soon! Though...it's kind of dragging a little, it seems. It could be just me, but yeah.
RandomRomantic169 2008-03-20 ch 7,	abuseWow, i just lurve this story, hehehe. It's actually given me a lot of ideas for one of my own, but don't worry I'm not going to steal your storyline, lol. I've always liked reading books that deal with heaven and hell, I think they're really interesting, and demons are just awesome in my opinion. Hehe, I'm just your usual sci fi spaz i guess, lol, but i especially like when the usual roles of good and evil get reversed because they tend to be really interesting reads. I'm not sure what your planning on doing with this or where it's headed (at least, not yet) but I can't wait til you get around to updating. Should be a blast XD
A-wolf-called-Skya 2007-08-08 ch 7,	abuse-reading AN- you offended someone about ADD? -stunned- i swear, i have it, but its a side effect from my FM ilness. we're both demented ;) anyways... reviewing... - i SQUEALED when i saw you had updated and nearly ran a hole in the ground and fell down into limbo and then into the river styx and somehow squeezed through a hole in a gate to the city of hell where i had a pina colada. tee hee. long chapter? no problem. it was great. i didn't notice any problems, tbh. typos or anything. it read smooth, it kept you sucked in, and the wittiness was great. i'm running a touch low currently, so i was lapping it up! i'm really wondering about what will happen concerning Michael and Paris. will she find a way? ooh lala? or...which one dies? and who will the new lover be? ooh-lala... yes, i'm hyper. anyways, i can't say much else, to be completely honest. i loved it and can't wait to see what happens next! btw, i got 4 NEW CHAPTERS up... al written yesterday and the day before. they are up, but the downside is... they haven't had much polishing because i've been sick. stomach infection. but i guess i'll save it for when i eventually run out of steam. the satrein disappears this coming ninth chapter... i know! i'm dead now, aren't i?... when they leave for yet another place. i'm so tired of travelling... anyways, update soon! good writing, -Rachel. (i'm off to bed and taking a shot to settle me down, FYI. lol. xD)

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