FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| CovinS 2005-08-09 ch 1,  | abuseThe piece definitely reads more like a song, with an obvious verse-chorus structure. However, by the time we hit the "your abscense" stanza, the poem itself is yearning for a change in rhythm, or formatting, or something.. Much like the bridge of a song has a different melody, this poem gets kind of redundant in the sense that it's the same thing just said differently. That's not to say it's not well written. Lines such as:"Can I make your heart race again"Can I kiss your sweet face againin different places of the poem certainly add a complexity rarely found on this site. That's evidence of good writing, whether it be poetry or song. So it's not to say it's not a decent piece, because it is. It just yearns for a release; to me, there's a build, but no explosion of emotion. On a personal note, is it a song? |