cool narrative frame, sharp dialouge, excellent characterization through both physical description and speech. Nice job!

The Mr. & Mrs. Smith parallels are a little easy to spot but who knows it's chapter two, I'll give you time to make it yours. Keep it up!

Your continuing well with this story, I really like it. You have made up the backgrounds of the couple so well, I especially liked how the woman was under pressure to get married, and the whole roses/kissing thing was a cool idea too. Keep writing ^_^

oh, i LOVE it! it's wonderful.. hm.. intresting chapter. Keep updating. you have a great story.

Mr and Mrs.Smith. therapist point of view. very interesting, now every time i read this story i'll visualize Brad Pitt and Angelia Jolie as mr and mrs Jansen. Update soon

update soon!

That was really good.. Update soon. Your story is well-written with very few minor confusions. It has enormous potential and continue with it!

it's great!

Speaking of Mr and Mrs Smith, I wanted to see that movie. But after that whole Jen/Brad thing, I kinda lost heart to watch it. *shruggs*

Anyways, very creative ;) I applaud you for a story that's not cliched but different from the mainstream ones here on fictionpress. You pulled it off very nicely too, I like how you deliver each chapter. You have balance of descriptions and believable dialogue. Kudos to you! Keep it up, update soon ^^

Mr and Mrs Smith was a good movie if you were into that kind of thing, but I thought that there was more that could have been done with the plot.

I really, REALLY don't know whether you do like I do, and just take the first bit of a story and then make it your own - or whether you're aiming to tell the movie from a different perspective. Whatever you do, and ESPECIALLY if you do the second one - why don't you try to do with the plot what the screenwriters failed miserably at doing - that is, actually making it more intelligent?

I like your writing style, as I've said on a lot of my other reviews of you. I'm curious to see where this goes, especially, because I don't know what you're going to do with it...make it your own, or make the movie better.

o, yes... well, not too good for them..

Someone has seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith...

I think you're a really good writer, and the story would be a lot better if you broke it away from the movie even more; the first chapter seemed like you were describing the first scene of the movie instead of making your own. But the perspective of the marriage counselor is great, and completely original. So keep writing!

update soon!

it's great! loved it

god, finally you updated.. its cool so far.. =)

I love it! The Jansens are creepy. I'm interested to see what happens with them next.