Your prose is fine, with some choppiness but some good, dramatic lines and a unique style. Your pacing keeps the reader wanting to know what's going on. Although taking down a helicopter with a sneaker is rather far-fetched, the main character is likeable and feels human. My only critique would be that I know you had a time limit, but because you're publishing it here as a short story I would like to see more of a conclusion. There is somewhat of a moral conclusion, but the reader never learns what you seemed to be setting up for throughout the piecec, what the helicopters and not-men were and why they were having the boys line up and march.
~"Nemonus" of FDU

loved the ending, reli concludes the story~ you wrote this to a picture? wow, i envy the extent of your effective imagination^^ Great job

keep writing!