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| the.pink.life 2006-06-28 ch 1,   | That is certainly a dense poem. I gotta say I'd probably have to do like the last reviewer and sit down with this, break it up into bits, to get the full effect, because as it is, it's just a lot. Keep writing! :) |
| Aneliz Rei 2006-06-26 ch 1, | I like this -- the format, the language, the detatched air. However, I found it very difficult to get through. Something about the punctuation ad line breaks I found irksome, and it was only after tackling the poem 5 or 6 times (in 3 different sittings) was I able to make a coherent poem of this. |
| The tribes tale 2005-08-28 ch 1, | cool |
| Osunale 2005-08-19 ch 1, | Excellent use of a few simple contradictions. This is delightful and haunting, the last lines especially combine these elements beautifully. It's told well, and it ends well. |
| Kicking Poe 2005-08-18 ch 1, | Sweet mother, this is amazing! An insanely creative idea that resulted in an insanely beautiful poem that got me thinking and writing. Keep it up! |
| Sorrowful Dreams 2005-08-14 ch 1, | very well written. love the way you used cement stuff to go with life such as ours. beautiful! ~Sorrow~ |
| Elizabeth Ebony 2005-08-08 ch 1, | i got pulled into it and i´m glad i did,because it is so amazing. e.ebony. |
| FunkyFlower17 2005-08-08 ch 1, | all i can say is...wow! the imagery and the lines about cement r amazing. love ur descriptions and the way this captures ur attention. great job, well done:-) |
| mercury.love 2005-08-07 ch 1, | Wow... noramally, long poems lose my attention, but this one kept it the whole time. The cement instructions in the poem were original and went nicely with each stanza. I loved the last two lines... awesome, always keep writing! |
| cynicaldays 2005-08-07 ch 1, | i absolutely adore your descriptions. |
| Venustas iaceo 2005-08-07 ch 1, | Oh. Wow. You're offically a poetic genius in my mind. I bow before you're greatness. ^_^ Also, this is just proof that inspiration comes in the strangest places. This is a definite for the favorite stories list. |
| Aquafied 2005-08-07 ch 1, | There is nothing chemical about this attraction-that really reminds me of a song i have heard. just a beautiful line.the word chemical always snags my attention when i am reading.i could almost say something about all the lines in this poem, its soo good, jeez.love the inspiration. I cling to youand no one finds the courage to cry again-the ending, oh my gosh, just so awesome. wow.you amaze me, this piece is something to be proud of. |
| account not in use 2005-08-07 ch 1, | Wow. So...painful and written with such grace and beauty. I love how the instructions are between some of the stanza's. The last line is absolutely amazing. |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-08-07 ch 1, | I am stunned, and must try to regain the feeling in my numb mind - you have come into your own as a poet. Need I say more? |
| Monica Lynn Sinks 2005-08-07 ch 1, | Wow... man this makes me pine for my poetry book |