Reviews for Snippets - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Snippets - Reviews: Page 1 of 15

WithoutException 2008-08-16 ch 18,	abuseThis is AMAZING! The plot is refreshingly non-formulaic (if that makes any sense). Are you going to write more? Please say yes. I want to know what happens!
smudged lines 2008-07-06 ch 18,	abuseomg! cliffhanger! i love this story so far. please update soon. i'm dying to know what happens next!
Quadrophenia 2008-07-05 ch 18,	abuseOmg! How could you stop this at such a crucial moment?!
I Murder on Impulse 2008-07-03 ch 18,	abuseARGH! Stupid baron, humph xx
Freakage 2008-04-28 ch 18,	abuseSuper good! I absolutely love KT - I'm not quite sold on David but maybe it's just 'cause KT is so darn cute that it's hard to see anyone deserving her (especially not that Barron!). Thanks for posting!
Party-In-The-Rain 2007-12-24 ch 18,	abuseOh wow. I just reread this story and remembered how much I adore it! It really is lovely. You've managed to make characters that are flawed, but still likeable. And they are incredibly realistic. Now, I'm thinking that the little snippet (lawl, snippet for Snippets) means that you are going to start writing some more for it in '08? If so, I am really excited. Although, I'm also slightly nervous, what with that cliffhanger you've left us with.
FireFallon 2007-11-18 ch 18,	abuseCould you please, please, please, update this??
Loni from Mars 2007-11-05 ch 18,	abuseYou are going to give me an ulcer, no, better, cancer, if you don't finish this. I've gone crazy reading it all in one day to discover it's not done and you haven't updated in almost ten months. Really, I'm sensing blood preassure problems arise as we speak. Seriously, this was way too funny. “Who are your brother?” Oh, great. Not only am I unable to keep a polite tone, I can’t conjugate my verbs properly either. “Who are your brother?” Carrise repeats teasingly, raising an eyebrow, “Who are your English teacher?” This was my most favorite part of all. Please, don't let me die like this.
arohalove 2007-10-11 ch 18,	abuseI LOVE everything about it! I'd say more except it is now 4 am because smarty pants me started reading this after midnight! I must sleep. But just so you know, I pretty much adore everything about your story, your characters and your writing. It's fabulous!
phelps112 2007-09-05 ch 18,	abuseso what happens next, does she let david kiss her and finally get over barron or does she answer her phone, thus breaking poor david's heart.
Agdistis 2007-08-23 ch 14,	abuseYes there is a class above A and as a gamer he should know it; it's a class S. Depending on the game there's also S. In David's case it'd stand for “Stupid, Slow, SOB". Yet I manage to love him anyways. XP
WritexMexOut 2007-07-26 ch 18,	abuseAH! Damn Barron... He ruined David and KT's moment. =( I see you haven't updated in almost half a year... I hope you get time to update this soon. >_< I'm in suspense.
Gilly Bean2 2007-07-22 ch 18,	abuseThis has been an entertaining story so far. The characters are frustratingly believable, and very funny. Keep up the good work. Cheers! Gilly Bean
B. Penn 2007-07-10 ch 1,	abuseHmm... I really am liking this story! It's so realistic. I love how KT is oblivious to how David feels for her and how David doesn't give up on her. I also have to commend you on your grammar. It's excellent; I've rarely found anything more than a typo. Your characters and dialogue are impressive as well. Every character has a realness to them. Although, I have to admit that I get confused as to which secondary character is who. Though, that could be my fault. Anywho, good story mate! Too bad you haven't updated in... well... a while. Please continue!!
Cobster 2007-06-26 ch 2,	abuseMan, do I hate it when my Cheerios are missing. Also, Tekken 3 rules!! Anyway, I liked this a lot, but not as much as the first chapter. It wasn't as organic. The progression seemed just as natural, but some of the prose was a little awkward. You've got several typos, and you could also do away with many "talking verbs," i.e. synonyms for "said." Let the action qualify the dialogue, not the words. We want to see it, not hear about it. Every time you use "said" or something like it, you remind your readers that they're getting the story through a conduit. Readers like connection. They like to be there. Another thing: David sounds a little obsessive in his narration. Within the first few paragraphs, he mentions his mother three times, and while this is probably coincidence, I think that leaving all of the references in would be running the risk of him sounding like somebody with an Oedipus complex. Along those same lines, it seems to me that he also mentions Karen a bit too much. He dwells on her memory as though he's struggling to get past it. It's unclear as to whether that's what you were going for. You did a good job with this in the first chapter. Ramp it up here. All in all, a great installment to what seems to be a satisfactorily cute story. Excellent, though not quite AS excellent. By the way--when I wrote "you" in my first review, in the second paragraph, I was referring to the reader, not you personally. You obviously care about your characters a great deal more. The shampoo thing is very relatable. It's always one of the major things I notice when I start getting closer to a girl. But there should be more. How does his hand feel on her waist?

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