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| Alternative-Candidate 2005-12-04 ch 1, | abuseI gotta say, I like this one even more than the last I reviewed. Easily relatable, and easy to understand whilst still remaining... unique. It's in no way simple, and it makes the read think, but at first glance you can get the general idea. This is good :D Also, I wanted to thank you for your reveiws. They mean alot. To clarify, "Ask No Body..." is about a relationship I have with a close friend. We've got a very tense, love/hate thing going at the moment, and I tend to take out all of my pent-up anger on him. I started thinking about how he would veiw it, and then I... wrote. Thanks again :D I think I'm gonna have to add you to my alert list. You're really good. |
| Cool-Ruzz 2005-10-28 ch 1, | abuseI really like your work, especially this particular one because I see too many people being much too vain this days. Each line in this poem is unique and speaks for its own. I really respect you as a writer as I think your a really good one. Thanks for reviewing my poem and pointing out the mistakes! I really appreaciate it. |
| Alankria 2005-10-18 ch 1, | abuseI liked this. I know I always check myself out in reflections as I walk ^.^ so I can identify with her a bit, though I don't obsess about my appearance in the way she does. As for another title...'Vanity's Reflection' perhaps, or something of that ilk. |
| wolfeh 2005-10-10 ch 1, | abuseI can't see anything wrong with the title! I'd leave it! Wow, so true, this bit of writing! SO true, almost everyone I know is EXACTLY the same! AWESOME job, and it's great to c someone put it into words! ^_^ |
| Plinky 2005-10-03 ch 1, | abuseVery true! Really good poem. I like the title! I can't think of a better one for it. Good idea too. Keep writing! |
| of.these.words 2005-10-02 ch 1, | abusethis was a really complex and original idea. I loved the last last stanza "her fading away into the weary after-work backdrop" keep writing, this was really good! oh, and thanks for the review!! I agree with your advice, i'll have to edit it sometime ^^-ofthesewords |
| alexialynne 2005-09-09 ch 1, | abusecant come up with any titles now..too sleepy. will tell u once i think of one though. i like this. its really...compelling. no thats not the MOST suitable word..but ..im kinda lost for words really (sorry, didnt really get enough sleep). i simply just LIKE it. i think that says it all. oh and if you're wondering why im reviewing your poems only, its bcos i dont have the time to read ur fiction..YET. :) all the best and keep writing your banging poems! |
| Eyes Unclouded 2005-09-05 ch 1, | abuseFirst of all, I'm SO SORRY I didn't review in so long. I've been lazy, really, really lazy about reviewing (but I hadn't forgotten, don't worry). Secondly, thank you so much for your review for Rendezvous at Eternity, a review which made my eyes water with pride and incidentally made me remember that I had some reviewing to do (but no, I had not forgotten!). Great lines: "Her eye snags on her reflection", "And in that instant echoes skim outwards" Editing:"photoshopped" - I'm not sure this is how it should be written - maybe capitalized? not sure Comments:Wow, the imagery and figurative language and general imaginativeness is great. Not a single cliche that I can spot. Very original. I also thought it was ironic that the other passengers imitated her action. And even though she fixed her appearance, she still faded into the background (at least, that's the message I got from this). I agree, though - the title "Vanity Fair" is a bit too harsh, especially because the woman seemed to be trying to fight off her impulse to neaten her appearance. Maybe call it "Natural Reflexes" since it seems like certain people instinctively do this. Great poem! |
| FrozenKiwi 2005-08-29 ch 1, | abuseThis is great, and I must confess I've done the same... *blush* Keep up the good work! |
| elizabeth ebony 2005-08-13 ch 1, anon. | abusenot signed it.wow.amazing poem,thanks for your review by the way.i know people like that. e.ebony. |
| Moonjava 2005-08-12 ch 1, | abuseThis is very emotional. Really well done. |
| a moth in lace 2005-08-12 ch 1, | abuseY'know, I really do relate to this... Heh. I can be a vain person. And yes, it mostly is reflex, or we do it without thinking, and then (well I do at least) feel kind of embarassed and wonder if anybody saw. And--how fun, I've been thinking a lot about buses lately... I was (and I'm not often on them) on a bus the other day, and I really like thinking about the people on them... They can inspire so many things. One day when I live in the city I plan on taking days off work just to sit in the bus with a notebook and a pen and let myself write about all the people. Anyway, enough of my drawling, you wrote this very well. Your adjectives and descriptions were very fluid and they melted into the mood of the piece very well. Oh, and thank you so much for your kind words on my piece... I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^__^ It means a lot, really. -marie |
| Kesslyn Rosewood 2005-08-11 ch 1, | abuseGood poem. You're right about the title--I don't think it really fits, either--but I can't think of anything better. Sorry! But I do like the poem. |
| Aquafied 2005-08-10 ch 1, | abuseHm, I am not good with titles or I would give you one, its actually one of the hardest parts of writing to me. blech, but i loved the poem. sideways glances on the bus stop, to check your reflection, all is clear. great. |
| emmathree 2005-08-10 ch 1, | abuseI like it, I think it's pretty and (sadly) realistic. As for those little "-", you have to put them there to kep the poem in stanzas because FictionPress tends to do exactly what it wants with the format. I like the title. Yea, I guess there may be a more fitting one out there but if you can't find it this one's fine. |