I think the rhyming in this poem is very effective. It gives it a lighter, sing-song touch - and it works. I applaud you for that.

Some of your language feels stilted - specifically the word "message," but also just in the prosy, wordiness of individual lines, compared to short lines like "I see you in black." The contrast in syntax feels...choppy.

Very nice!

~Effervescent-Sentiments

there was something humourous to this, that made it easy to read and like.your rhyme was obviously brilliant, not forced but definitely effective.and i like how you switched from stanza to stanza, between the questions and actions (?) and the "you" and "i".

Your words...they are good.

I like.

Thank you.

i like the sound of the last stanza, muchly fun to say

heh, im an idiot

good poem though, very emotional with a nice flow, well written, nicely done

i dunno... it's not my favorite of your work.. I love the last stanza though

A: A poem needs hidden meaning to leave room for imagination - otherwise, it's story

B: a flame is not necessarily a symbol for brilliance - and judging by your poem, you may have come across other meanings

C: punctuation only goes so far - try Hemingway to see its limitations.