Reviews for Strictly Here on Business

Reviews For: Strictly Here on Business

Dan WHO???? 2005-12-07 ch 1, anon.	abusenot bad allie, hurry up and write more!
2005-09-20 ch 2, anon.	abusehm... I don't quite know enough about this story yet, nothing's really happened. If I were the one writing it, I would have wrote the first chapter and stopped because I just write like that. I want to know about the lion, and I'm wondering if it can talk. I googled the painting to see what it looked like and my dad saw me looking at it and thought that it was a picture of satan. (He's real religious). I saw it as a man who wants to fly away from life (Hence home sickness: Sick of being home) but can't because his wings are black and heavy. the wings could be his soul, instead of light and white, they're heavy and black, and yet he hungers. The lion could be hunger, or possibly strength seperated from him. A strength he does not have. I like looking at paintings and stuff like that. In your story, I'm not sure if the man is an angel(it points that way) or a demon (perhaps?) Is there a reason why Ephraim is black and the Conductor is white? hm... I want to write a story, I just have a smattering of thoughts though, nothing big as of right now, nothing to write about. I was writing an autobiography, but like everything else it was never finished. I've been trying to write something but it's never worked out yet. It's one of those things where I get the perfect idea and forget it before I can write it down, because someone comes and bothers my solitude. I'd really rather write with someone on something. I've never gotten a chance to do that and I think it would be neat. To have the first person write the intro and the second person write the next part then the first add to it and so on and so forth. I've never gotten a chance to do it before, just think it'd be fun, hah, now all I need to do is find someone with time to kill that doesn't mind writing a story that won't gain any fame. An all girls school? How could you stand it, I'd like it ;) hah, just joking, but if I had to go to an all boy's school, I could not take it. But they don't have any of those around here so I think I'm good. That's what I think though, "Is this is?", is that all there is? doesn't anyone want to think any higher, dream a dream any bigger? the only place I can meet a person that's even a little like me is on ficpres or something, and that's only online so it doesn't really count. I like looking at the stars though, I never get to anymore, perhaps I've only done it once or twice in my life before someone came along and told me it was time to go. I'd like a time where I could just get swallowed into the sky. I wrote an email to someone about that... it was my thoughts on flying through space. I saw a picture on the internet (the picture wasn't anything special) but the name was "Julia lost in the cosmos" it inspired the end-half of my "New Jerusalem" Poem, but I couldn't perfect the feeling and the poem was really just a massive experiment, in my changed creativity. Not "the original New Jerusalem", but "New Jerusalem" The original was a template I used to spawn the flabby loosly collected poem. I'd like to just write out a suggested reading list of my things and post it in my profile, that would be kind of nice for people who wanted to read my stuff I guess, not like anyone reads it though. I hate most reviews because I have to reply to them, but I love reply to ones like this, or ones from friends. As for freud, I don't believe half the things he says, most of it I think is crap, like how all of our dreams are sexual feelings about our mother. I'm just not into that kind of thing. But I guess with some things he was right, no one can be completely wrong, it's impossible. The record was Rositinni's (not sure of the spelling) "Stabat Mater" I saw at the library, I just combined some latin words into "Stabat Spiritum" Which is sorrowful spirit... I think All sweetness to the Lady Elaine,S.P.
Archipelago 2005-08-22 ch 1,	abuseHey, thx for the review. Your story seems interesting thus far, however, I noticed a description or two that didn't sit right with me. The one for the lion was a little too abrupt after the first sentence of paragraph three could be followed by imagery. Some characterization in chapter one is never bad and at the end it feels as if it's going to jump off into some big thing in chapter 2. A bit quick if it does, but, well, I've yet to read on.
cellardoor86 2005-08-14 ch 1,	abuseGreat imagery and set building. I'll definitely be checking back to see what happens.

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