FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| damaged isolation 2007-05-31 ch 1,  | abusequite nice. I think maybe you could have made it more smooth (keeping the same idea and structure) which would have eased the reading. I always notice the shells (take that how you like). |
| TwinDeath 2006-08-15 ch 1, | abusewhile this was a wonderful poem, might i reccomend something for the last two lines? Try this - "The white bones of/ once-live shells" Live forever, or die trying!! (if you R&R my stuff, try either "Modifications" or "A Mercernary's Tale") |
| Out of the Orange 2005-11-29 ch 1, | abuse*I* notice those broken shells when I'm at the beach. I can't help but notice them, because they stab me in the feet as I walk. |
| catseyeview 2005-10-24 ch 1, | abuseThe metaphor is so strong here - beautifully done - I love the "vision" into bones of shells! Lovely |
| mizu no kokoro 2005-10-09 ch 1, | abuseah ha! so there you are my shells^^ lol~ collectables~~ cute poem keep writing! |
| Bigfoot111 2005-08-15 ch 1, | abusei really like that... it's simple |