you have a very impressionist kind of style. I like it a lot, this is so intense and real because of all the descriptives. lovely.

Morbidly pleasant. The tenses are a bit shaky - you keep jumping from past to present perfect to present and back to past - but otherwise the imagery is really very good, though morbid (but morbid's good too, never mind that.)

I doubt that teenhood is a word, and it doesn't sound very relevant, but the last line is particularly shiverish-nice.

hey mike. loved the imagery and choice of words was good too... keep on writing!

I like the some of the lines here - "plagued with teenhood" can be interpreted in two ways, and so can "The moon saw herself too, shivering".nice work

Beautiful, i love the personification~~ Great job!!

keep writing!

this is a great piece, even the first line brings the reader in..."The sea has caught me with her tentacles." and the stanza: "She can be imitated. I thought I saw myself- yellowish, like a jaundiced baby..."has such power! - Christine