lol wow. very nice little story there. 16 years huh? wow. I never had trouble with swimming, but if that happened to me, I wouldn't go in either haha.

~Sorrow~

Like I told you before - I'm so happy you learned how to swim!! Finally! And now when someone else falls in the water, you can jump in and save them! (And, even though I can swim, the ocean scares the crap out of me, so you've got an advantage on me there, hehe - seriously, I saw a fish once and I flipped out, and another time I stepped on a starfish, picked it up, and chucked it as far as I could...poor starfish...)

The part about your mind tapping you on the shoulder confused me at first until I got to the part about how it just urged you to get in the water and swim (remember to wait half an hour after eating...)! Wow - you swam nonstop for four hours? Insane - no wonder you couldn't walk! Which reminds me, that ending about your mom leaving the light on - that was SO FUNNY. And now I finally have a clear understanding of that big lady and exactly how she fell on you.

Anyway, glad you can swim! ~

Sheesh. FINALLY I have time to read this. Let me tell you now, everything from the sardonic, humorous title ("Flop") to the ending I absolutely LOVED. Since I liked it so much, I'm going to read it again and review as I read. The beginning was amazing. The mind as a separate entity! And tapping your on your shoulder! And making you fall and fall and fall and finally splash! And you and Rem have a habit of making me overuse exclamation points! You took the personification thing and made it a general thing over the entire story, and that was amazing. The "swishing-swashing, salty water" (nice alliteration, BTW) challenging you? - loved it. The staring contest between you and the water? - loved it even more. "Imagine! How rude." -> and I fell in even more DEEPER love with that statement. I love the little touches like these that spice up a story. They're amazing. Gah! And "what reason did the water have to foam out at me and stick its long, salty tongue at my face?" --> I almost melted at this sentence because it was so perfect! Haha, I just HAD to laugh when you recounted your story. I imagine a petulant little Koe, sulking and sniffing and pouting and glaring in righteous indignation and retelling this story to a smiling me. Hahahaha: "and for some odd reason - a reason I will not understand till this day. . .she landed right on top of. . .of well. . .me." I like how there's a tone of vague disbelief that your body will not obey you, that you just keep swimming and swimming and swimming and you can't stop. "I fell right into the sea" - ! ! ! ! "My bathing suit stuck to my body like an irritated octopus" - nice simile, really adds to the imagery. From the sentence ". . .she did something horrible" to the end, I couldn't help grinning. I loved the end, where you tie it in nicely, with a "And I. . .I couldn't move." A sort of bewildered, defeated, and accepting tone that gives an inordinate amount of humor to the reader. Yay! My little friend is learning how to become a fish (and the irony in that statement is not lost on me. . .) - while I laze away in front of Miaka, the damned tube in my left ear preventing me from jumping into the nearest body of water. T.T Oh well. At least you're having fun!

I love the way you tell a story! It really grabbed me the entire time. You are an excellent writer. Who just happens to be not afraid of water anymore. -- J.max