ok now the story seems a little unoriginal and gushy and it needs a little more body to it. i'm still quite interested with what happens next though.

good so far...I'm interested.

YO...its me thought i'd go back see if ya had anything else hey thats pretty awesome and it BETTER be fiction cause..well...thats looking down on yourself 'he's too good for me' lol a little excitement doesnt hurt a person rofl

Very nice start ^.^ I like the flow and use of words and monologue :) Wished it was longer, though, but great job anyway!