Nah, your descriptions are just fine. But you did make some punctuation errors thought, like“ So what assistance do your kinsmen need me to provide?,the man frowned and asked, moving himself to an upright position. You missed out a " between provie? and the man. There were several awkward expressions, but they are readable and understandable. But your story is quite nice. Very intriuguing and mysterius, it draws the reader into a world of...I actually don't know what I'm saying, but what I meant was that your story was great! Impressive story line, and suspense is immersive. Let's hope Rlen kills Arlia painfully, huh? :) Just kidding. But hopefully the beautiful mysteries and tensions keep piling and accumulating with the chapters!

hey! Love your story. Great discriptions you can really see the places and people in your head. But it does get a little confussing with so many characters introduced so soon : s No offence me hopes : ) check out some of my works and either review or email me if you have the time! THANX!!