Archipelago
2005-08-21
ch 1,  | abuseThis story is pretty cool. The whole end of the world and elf thing could use a bit of work. It isn't too clear or compelling with that use of Democracy and Liberty spoken of as if they were people. Everything after that is fine though and make sme want to read more. Avari is interesting and if she said that whole blood thing she must be one extremely intelligent eleven year old because most couldn't put it that eloquently. Is she really just really smart? If not then it wouldn't be right for her to say it that way. Nice story can't wait until chapter 2. |
FictionPress.com - let the words flow