what can I say? You made me cry and I can give you no greater compliment than that-Autumn

I really like how you would suddenly stop a thought and continue it on the next line, it almost made me stop everytime as i was reading so i could think about what it meant and it made this so much more dramatic and moving

It starts of so beautiful but I love the way it turns so harsh and bitter half way through. Towards the end I really enjoyed how you could really feel the emotion and pain in your words. Well done

Beautiful imagery and descriptions. You have a lovely way with words. This one sent chills up my spine!

So sad and so good. Almost made me cry and it did make my heart wrench in my chest.

Your writing has such an interesting style; you can write tragedy but still it has a slightly ironical twist that gives it a freshness. The descriptions are beautiful here, and I'm still choosing between the ending of the first part and the ending of the second for my favourite.

I'll echo whoever below said the second part wasn't quite as good, only because the first part really is. I think the random capitalisation of 'darkness, wind and rain' weakens it a little.

But I love the line about God's humour and the absence quote. A really great poem...

That's so sad! I have tears in my eyes...see, right here...right there, there are the tears...*sniffles*

Luv, Anne Hereatta

True Child of the Xenu

*tear* really good job...i dont get this feeling i have...There is and era of sophistication in this piece. *Applauds*

This is love...i decided i hate love, i am incapable of loving anyone...this was great tho, ur a great love poem writer...but you bring out the cruelty of it 2, well done^_^

it's simple but it's got an edgy sort of attitude. I personally think that first section is complete on its own (ending at "Tangibly remove strands from my tongue/I should go"). I thought the second section was nicely described but it lacked some imagination. gosh this sounds awfully harsh, i just think that first section is amazing, and the second is good, just not as. ok im going to shut up now love it ^_^

Wonderful piece, I love the way you describe the situation, and the way you write the feelings with such a real simplicity impress me to no end... wish I'd be that good... it was a pleasure reading your work *bows down*

Ran

Tragic and touching. I like this. =)